


In The Beginning

by Identiaetslos



Series: Nox Trevelyan Collection [16]
Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Angst, Cass ain't straight, F/F, Fluff, Gameplay through an NPC, Reflection, Romance, Training Montage, Warriors Sword Fighting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-01
Updated: 2019-04-02
Packaged: 2019-12-30 13:59:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,317
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18316664
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Identiaetslos/pseuds/Identiaetslos
Summary: Cassandra reminisces with Leliana on how she fell in love with Nox





	1. Chapter 1

“So, when did you know?” Leliana asked of Cassandra while taking a sip of tea.

Despite busy schedules, the two always managed to find time for these weekly chats over tea. With the Inquisition gaining on Corpyheus, Cassandra had to wonder how long this would go on. Eventually, Lady Natalie would win and then what? One of them would be made Divine, or Vivienne would, and the two of them would be scattered to the wind, only to find each other when they were too old and gray to remember anything but the good memories.

Cassandra offered a rueful smile to her own beverage and sipped, registering that Leliana was asking about Nox. She searched her memories for the first encounter: The guards pulling her from the wreckage, badly injured and unconscious, hand glowing with its mysterious magic. Cassandra had been angry, frightened, lost: Her worst fears brought to life, and embodied, or so she thought, in the tall, redhaired woman from Ostwick.

How wrong she had been, how foolishly quick to judge.

In the days following the massacre at the Conclave, Cassandra did what she could to rally the remaining troops together, keep everyone from descending into a grieving chaos. She'd posted guards around her suspect, but with all the chatter around Haven, she didn't trust them not to kill the woman while she slept.

Ambassador Montilyet had reported that the woman in her custody was Knight-Corporal Natalie Trevelyan. She was sent as a representative of both the Ostwick Circle and her own family. Ostwick’s Circle had a reputation. Perhaps, not as storied as the one from Kirkwall, but Ostwick hadn’t been impervious to the darkness that befell its fellow Free Marcher city. That only meant that Lady Natalie was coming from a place of turmoil just like every other Templar that was able to attend.

She was the poster child of a Templar if Cassandra had ever seen one: Tall, square jaw, round muscles. If rumors were to be believed, Natalie hadn't taken vows and favored women. That would certainly make her popular among the fawning ladies in Val Royeaux. If it weren’t for the fact she was a criminal, Cassandra would welcome the respite...and she might even be more curious. How liberal was the Chantry in Ostwick that they allowed her to serve if that were so? In thinking on it, Cassandra felt a sense of relief that Natalie was able to enjoy love so freely.

Seeker Cassandra hadn’t known much of the Trevelyans. They were new to money and power, but they controlled most of the port in Ostwick. Despite her size, the woman Cassandra saw being tended to by Adan and Solas didn’t seem like someone capable of murdering the Divine. In fact, she looked young and as green as the clothes she wore.

By Solas’ testimony, Natalie hadn’t been corrupted, but she was in danger. How the lyrium inside her interacted with the strange magic that plagued her body, Solas was unable to tell, but it was something that Cassandra set aside as something to be used later if necessary. Templars were doughy creatures when enough pressure was applied. That last thought was brutal and under ordinary circumstances, would be enough to make Cassandra feel ill. However, these were not ordinary circumstances. People were dead. Cassandra was determined to find guilt somehow. According to Josie, the Trevelyans were feuding with a prominent Antivan house and people Cassandra recognized were her own family. Was this a ploy not only to kill the Divine but go after Cassandra personally? Surely, the Trevelyans could do better than to send a low ranking Circle Templar, even though she was massive and with more refinement, dangerous with that broadsword.

Then something caught Cassandra’s eye. While one of the Chantry sisters was helping Adan change her bedclothes, a medallion attached to a gold chain that was around Natalie’s neck fell into view. It was Andrastian and a reference to one of the most peaceful verses in the Chant of Light.

\- - - - - -

Days had passed and the Knight-Corporal seemed to be out of the worst of it. Between Adan and the Chantry healers, her wounds would heal, and thanks to Solas, the strange mark on Natalie’s hand seemed to be under control. Questions still loomed, including doubts as to the Knight-Corporal’s guilt.

None of it mattered. What was left of the Chantry had decreed that the prisoner was to be held for her crimes. Murder of the Divine. The thought was enough for fresh tears to burn Cassandra’s eyes as she remembered the woman she loved as Divine Justinia, and how, despite doing everything in her power, she had been helpless to prevent her death. No...not everything, Cassandra thought with venom in her veins. Clearly, she had not done enough. No more.

On Cassandra’s order, Natalie had been moved to the dungeon below the Haven Chantry. She was still mostly in and out of a state of consciousness; not coherent enough to reliably question, as Leliana had eloquently pointed out. How did Knight-Corporal Natalie come to be in this predicament? Cassandra wondered in her moment of solitude. If magic hadn’t corrupted her, did fanaticism?

More than anything Cassandra felt disappointed in Natalie, and picked herself off a hay bale to gaze at the swirling mess in the sky.

“Seeker,” a runner said out of breath as he popped his head through the barn door. “The prisoner is awake!”

The news brought everything at stake to the forefront. Now was not the time for pity or second guessing. Justinia was dead, Ragalyan was dead, everyone was dead, and the fate of the world hung in the balance, and the only person at the end of that mystery was Her.

\- - - - - 

“We need her Cassandra!” The Seeker remembered. Leliana’s voice cut through her rage and her hand on her chest tempered the urge to open up and burn the lyrium coursing through Natalie’s veins, even while she was defenseless in irons.

For the first time, Cassandra looked into the conscious face of Knight-Corporal Natalie Trevelyan. That square jaw and handsome face was contorted in such a way that Cassandra felt coldness at her own actions. Natalie was scared, hurt. Tears around her eyes were of loss and confusion.

It wasn’t a face of guilt.

Natalie raised her eyes to Cassandra and the look she gave turned those chills into ice: She was prepared to die. If it meant absolution for the massacre, the young Templar before her was willing to take the blame for it.

For a moment that felt longer than it was, Cassandra kept her gaze on Natalie and let her eyes lock with hers. They were a brilliant greenish blue, like the rolling hills surrounding Val Royeaux. Natalie didn’t cower. In fact, the courage behind Natalie Trevelyan gave warmth to Cassandra’s earlier thoughts. Perhaps she was looking for guilt and not actually seeking the truth. Murdering her wouldn’t bring closure, only more questions.

The sky belched and Natalie’s hand lit up in green flame. She pitched forward with a scream in agony and was dragged toward it only to be stopped by her restraints.

An even worse thought through Cassandra’s head was that this was all an accident. Natalie didn’t carry a mage’s staff, nor had any of the belongings seized by Cassandra’s soldiers indicated that she was a mage of any kind. If she was just an ordinary Templar, her magic would be limited to stopping cataclysms like this from ever happening.

Perhaps there was a solution. If Natalie wasn’t the assassin that Cassandra wanted, the mark on her hand might help them end all of this.

Cassandra knelt and unshackled the young Templar.

Natalie was quiet and watched Cassandra. Her breath was threaded as though she was still in pain, but her gaze was a marriage of suspicion and curiosity.

“Thank you,” Natalie said in a quiet tone and flexed her hand while looking to Leliana and the guards and then back to Cassandra.

It was the first time since she’d started questioning the Knight-Corporal that Cassandra really remembered her voice. It was pretty and tough like her. Cassandra was close enough that she could smell the hide of her leather, and there was a warmth to her that was distracting enough that Cassandra forgot, for a moment, that she was escorting a prisoner.

Natalie rose to her feet. She stood tall enough that Cassandra had to look up to meet her gaze. Her attention made Cassandra’s armor feel like tissue paper and Cassandra did her best not to tremble as she escorted the Templar out of the dungeon and into the nightmare that awaited.

\- - - - - 

Leliana smiled over her cup and sipped again. “I knew it.”

Cassandra’s expression darkened. “No. I was nervous because of her size.”

Leliana laughed. “Oh, that just makes it worse! I’ve seen you take down Qunari with a single hit, and yet you let an, ‘ordinary Circle Templar’, as you put it, intimidate you?”

Cassandra’s scowl deepened. “Not intimidated. I wouldn’t be the warrior I am if I underestimated my opponents. With her size and strength she could have easily used those chains against me!”

“We were in the same dungeon, Cassandra, Nox wasn’t any threat to you. Well, maybe not tactically.”

“You’re not funny.”

“Go on.”

\- - - - - -

Natalie’s willingness to fight had surprised Cassandra and had confirmed Leliana’s assertions that there was more to this story. Leading her through the camp had been trying. There were already questions among the ranks: Cassandra was already a rebel, denounced by what was left of the Chantry for breaking with the Seekers, remaining loyal to Justinia despite the wishes of the rest of the College of Clerics. What was she doing with the prisoner out of chains? Was there to be no trial? No hanging?

Already shouts across the yard could be heard.

Natalie kept her eyes level and her face devoid of any expression. Her breath was still threaded: Nervous and in pain, but determined to help.

“I am told they call you Knight-Corporal Natalie Trevelyan,” Cassandra when they were out of earshot of the larger groups of rank and file. Cassandra couldn't tell whether it was snow or ash that rained down on Haven, but it covered the hilltops and Natalie's short red hair all the same.

Natalie paused and looked solemn for a moment before turning to Cassandra. “Nox.”

“Pardon?”

“Nox. Call me Nox.”

“What sort of name is that?” Cassandra asked.

“Mine.”

The sky belched again and Nox let out a growl and doubled over.

“We should hurry,” Cassandra said. What next she said seemed lost to today’s ears. With a deft cut with a boot knife, Cassandra cut the ropes around Nox’s wrists. They were red and Natalie flexed her hands again and she took on a look that Cassandra recognized all too well as a woman who wanted a weapon.

Coldness again as Cassandra remembered who it was that towered before her. Nox was still a Templar and capable of anything. Those massive hands of hers were big enough to easily get around Cassandra’s neck, or disarm one of the guards. Could she last against a Seeker? Maker knew what kind of training Natalie had before the Conclave. If she was anything like what Cassandra was familiar with, she had the best training that money could buy. If not Chevaliers and Knights of Ferelden, high ranking Templars, professional knife-wielders from Antiva, or master polearm fighters from Rivain. Maybe even the Champion of Kirkwall herself.

Yet Nox's hands were gentle as she politely touched Cassandra’s arm to lead her through the town gates. For a moment, Cassandra felt oddly secure following behind her unarmed prisoner, and, somehow, the silly notion that this Templar could deflect the torrents of magical energy with just her body entered Cassandra's mind.

And she nearly did as Cassandra tumbled with Natalie onto a frozen lake.

Seeing Lady Trevelyan with that Greatsword in her hands, gripping it as she put together all her skill and strength was enough to frighten Cassandra. Since when was she afraid of a low-ranking, ordinary Templar?

It was the way she fought: The power behind her swings. Natalie slashed through the air like a fighter who had earned the scars on her face, and taunted demons with squared shoulders and a flattened gaze that Cassandra recognized from the dungeon. She was also a sight: Footwork like a dancer, though definitely in need of refinement. She swung the Greatsword as though it were a part of her long body and arms, and glanced a few times the Seeker's way, directing her across the battlefield wordlessly until the two of them moved in a rhythm that Cassandra hadn't experienced with any other companion. Furthermore, she'd figured out Cassandra’s fighting style. Where Cassandra was defensive, Natalie was offensive and compensated to protect Cassandra's weakpoint which was, glaringly now more than ever, in the pivot of her lead foot.

The pit that Cassandra felt was knowing that Nox was more than capable of taking her down. Not only that, she was now a prisoner out of her shackles, in the open, corrupted by magic, cutting through the air with strikes powerful enough to shake the ice and batter the hair against Cassandra’s face. 

“Drop your weapon!” Cassandra shouted as the fight ended. She leveled her blade at Natalie, still towering over her. Cassandra readied herself just in case. She’d only used her Seeker skills in the course of interrogating prisoners and nothing more, but there was a first time for everything.

Natalie heaved as she caught her breath and dropped her blade to the ice. Blood was on her clothes and face, but where Cassandra expected wild eyes, she was met with a serenity that was as attractive as it was shocking. Most Templars Cassandra knew were meatheaded fools, but not this one. Where had Ostwick been hiding her?

Cassandra twisted her lips around a pleased smile and relented. Nox could have easily taken her out during the fight, and many times before, and yet she didn’t. She also saw through Cassandra’s rage and turned it into a focused roar directed toward the hole in the sky.

\- - - - - 

“It was more than that. It felt...ordained somehow. Like we were meant to cross paths."

"Teasing aside, I understand. I felt like that with Enchanter Amell," Leliana said. 

"I wasn't expecting it to be...you know..." Cassandra let her voice trail off and gestured to indicate that she hadn't anticipated falling in love with a woman.

"Love is a funny thing. Sometimes, I think the Maker uses it to teach us something about ourselves."

"So easily she picked me apart. On the battlefield and in more personal matters.” Cassandra said, waving her hand as if to gesture at the course of her life. She glanced out the window next to she and Leliana in half-hopes to catch a glimpse of Nox and was disappointed when only grass waved back at her. Likely, her Inquisitor was busy with some task that she would surely hear about later. Cassandra found herself looking forward to it and even jumped a little at the idea of rushing inside the Throne Room to distract her from whatever it was that had her Natalie's attention. “In my forty years in this life, I’ve never had one person take me apart so quickly. I had to know her.”


	2. Chapter 2

Leliana smiled. “If I understand this correctly, while you were mounting my rescue, you were busy figuring out that you desperately wanted to kiss our prisoner?”

Cassandra glared at a Leliana who was shaking with laughter. Any denial would be a lie, but any omission would make her seem like a monster. And it was only a half truth. “I knew I liked her then, yes,” Cassandra said diplomatically and sipped her drink. She spun the mug around before her with her finger and watched the brown liquid ripple.

“I’m not sure if there was just a single moment. I knew I was wrong to be frightened of her the first moment on in that courtyard.”

“I remember. The entire Inquisition came out to watch that, and I won a lot of money thanks to you.”

Cassandra made a face, but the question made her contemplate.

\- - - - -

Sealing the smaller rifts around Ferelden had established the Inquisition as a fighting force to be considered. Despite all of her contingency plans hashed out over the long months with Justinia and Leliana, forming the Inquisition was far more trying than Cassandra had been prepared for. To make matters worse, the College of Clerics in their usual pigheadedness, had condemned not only Cassandra and Leliana, but Lady Trevelyan as well.

For her involvement in the Temple of Sacred Ashes and the growing rumor that Nox was the Herald of Andraste, she had been ‘transferred’ from her Templar Order to the Inquisition. Or more directly, to Cassandra personally.

Since then, Natalie had revealed her personality more. That same serenity that Cassandra witnessed on the lake was still there, but she was full of the silly, childish humor that Varric appreciated. He’d begun to refer to her as Quiet Hawke.

Nox had even tried this humor on Cassandra a few times. She wasn’t sure what to make of it. Part of her was irritated that someone that could be the Herald of Andraste herself would be so irresponsibly whimsical, but at the same time, she found herself adoring the terrible jokes and even worse attempts at flirting.

With her. Nox had been flirting with her.

Cassandra had put it out of her mind as the foolishness that came with youth and with Templars. A more important task was at hand: Saving the world. This meant fighting demons and at the forefront of that was Natalie Trevelyan.

Who stood in front of her this warm, sunny day, breeze tousling her short red hair so she looked far more adorable than Cassandra wanted to let on.

News of her removal from the Templars had been difficult for Nox to stomach. Out of her embarrassment, she requested that Harritt smelt her a new set of armor in one of Justinia’s suggested styles, which functioned surprisingly well with its stylish dragon scale armor which Cassandra could only assume was a recommendation from some Orlesian fashionista rather than an actual armorsmith.

It glittered brightly on those broad shoulders and a practice sword similar in style and girth to the one Natalie used in the field was held at her side. Already, Cassandra could tell that she was off balance and she gripped her practice shield tighter.

“Move your feet out a little,” Cassandra instructed.

Nox looked down at her boots and moved them slightly. “If I do that, though, I feel off balance. I don’t have a shield as a counterweight.”

Cassandra snorted. “With your skill, you won’t need one. I’ve watched you fight, Nox. Whoever taught you did well, but you need refinement. Need I remind you that there are Templars out there far more skilled than even the demons we fought.”

Natalie was quiet a moment and brushed a strand of errant hair with a gloved hand. “Okay.”

Cassandra readied herself. “Good, now strike me as you would an enemy.”

Nox raised a brow. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

“You won’t,” Cassandra reassured.

Nox moved her feet to get a good grip and Cassandra’s heart pounded. Even though she had been confident in her response to Nox, she wasn’t entirely certain that Natalie wouldn’t hurt her. Even worse was the fact that every eye in the Inquisition was on the two of them and she could hear the excited murmurs of bets being made, coin exchanging hands. If she lost…

“Ready?” Nox asked. She looked nervous.

“Hit me,” Cassandra urged.

Nox reared back with the practice sword and slashed downward so hard that the wind whipped. Except she made the mistake of not taking Cassandra’s advice and pulled her feet closer together like she had been doing. There was more power behind the swing, but the fatal flaw was glaring.

Cassandra got her shield up quickly and deftly blocked Natalie’s blow and used her shield to pull Natalie off her feet and onto the ground. Before Natalie had a chance to react, Cassandra’s practice blade was at her neck.

The crowd gasped and then there was a mixture of applause and boos.

Nox’s face reddened and a boyish smile that stretched across her lips. She was not embarrassed and followed with a, “knocking me off my feet on the first go.” It was an unexpected flirt and seemed less idle than the ones she’d attempted before; like she was being serious. Cassandra didn’t know what to make of it, and it wasn’t entirely unappreciated. This wasn’t the time, Cassandra reminded herself and rejected Nox’s advance with a darkened scowl.

Natalie didn’t seem hurt, but apologized with an even more adorable look and then took on that serene seriousness that drew Cassandra to her in the first place. Any question about whether Nox could be the Herald of Andraste vanished in looking at her in that moment and Cassandra felt resolved to turning her into the greatest weapon in Thedas.

Up until this moment, Cassandra had feared being on the receiving end of such a blow, and it was effective to the point that Cassandra’s wrist hurt and she flexed her hand instinctively. "As I said: You need refinement. That maneuver I used is something that Chevaliers learn in basic combat training. If you go up against someone powerful like Cullen, or even as skilled as Lysette, they'll kill you in seconds. As you are the Herald of Andraste, that is something we cannot afford." That was a thought that was also too much for Cassandra to bear.

Cassandra removed her blade from Nox’s throat and pulled Nox to her feet. “Again. This time, do as I say.”

Over the next few weeks, Natalie and Cassandra met in the training yards to work on technique. Nox had gotten better at listening after the first day, but she continued to stubbornly insist on overpowering her opponents with hard hits. It did make her difficult to defend against when she was able to land a direct hit, but Cassandra’s defensive fighting technique taught her to easily dodge her slices and keep her on her feet to the point where Nox was panting.

Fine. If she wanted to fight that way, then Natalie’s training would include more calisthenics. Something that Cassandra had intended to assign to either Cullen or Quartermaster Threnn, but the idea of Natalie training with someone potentially less devoted to her well-being was something that Cassandra didn’t want to leave to chance.

It was also an opportunity for Natalie to learn Chevalier training first hand. No other conditioning was like it. Nox had a hard time keeping up, and while her body was built solidly of muscle, it became clear that she had been used to standing her ground while fighting and not moving.

Through the spring trees they went, wind hitting Cassandra’s skin as she jogged. It was rewarding to have a companion for once and the extra calisthenics would do her good.

Natalie’s body began to become more refined, her muscles tighter, and she gave her enemies a hard time on the battlefield and in the training yard. A few times, Cassandra had gotten close to being put on her back.

Deep down, Cassandra eagerly awaited the days when she would feel Natalie’s body press against hers, the smell of her armor and her hair close to her, that warmth that she felt the first day. Sometimes, Cassandra would catch Natalie just right and her eyes would soften sending Cassandra’s heart into her nose.

Then suddenly….

\- - - - -

“One day, she put it all together. I’d been instructing her on how to properly block her opponents and finally...” Cassandra’s voice trailed off and she smacked her fist in her hand. “For the first time in my life, I was happy to be put on my back, but there was also sadness. You see...once she learned that, she wouldn’t need me anymore.

“I remember looking up at the snow and thinking that I’d probably hit my head, because there was her face and she was grinning like this irritating fool and at that moment, I’d never seen anyone so beautiful.

“I wasn’t going to go around acting like a schoolgirl over someone, let alone the Herald of Andraste and a soldier who had been specifically assigned to me personally...and was also a woman. I was afraid of how that would look.” 

\- - - - - -

Muscles ached everywhere. Even her eyeballs ached if that were possible.

Cassandra rubbed the back of her head as she made her way from the prayers in the vestibule to the room in the Chantry that she’d been calling hers, though it was not much more than a storage closet. Reaching out to the Maker was always comforting, but tonight, her mind was occupied with lingering thoughts of Natalie.

How proud Cassandra was that she’d turned such a woman into a capable fighter. In the morning, she would suggest to Josephine to look around Thedas for other warriors who could refine what Cassandra taught her and further turn her into the champion that Cassandra knew she could be.

Sadness came with those thoughts as Cassandra mused on the end of the weekly jogs and sparring matches. Fewer silly jokes to be heard and flirts to shrug off and secretly cherish. There would still be expeditions into Ferelden and Orlais, if Natalie was so inclined to invite the Seeker, and seeing her around Haven.

It didn’t seem like enough.

These thoughts were foolish and the Maker didn’t deserve such disrespect. Cassandra apologized to the golden statue of Andraste before her and turned to enter her room only to be stopped by the voice she both longed and dreaded to hear.

“I was hoping I’d find you in here.”

Cassandra’s mind held tight to Natalie’s voice and she turned around.

Natalie dipped her head slightly in apology. “I’m not interrupting, am I?”

“No, I was about to turn in for the night.” Cassandra fidgeted. Rarely had Natalie approached her outside the training yards like this. It felt good to have her attention. Also, the candlelight from the candelabrum near her head made her look almost regal.

“I wanted to thank you for everything you’ve done for me,” Natalie said.

Cassandra smiled in acceptance. “What I did I had to do. You are the Herald of Andraste and it would be selfish of me if I didn't offer you what I have to teach.” Cassandra twisted her lips around in a rare humorous smile. “Besides, it was hurting me to see you swinging your sword like that.”

Natalie laughed. “I see. I thought you just wanted to get close to me.”

Cassandra let the flirt linger between the two of them. “You still haven’t told me what kind of name is ‘Nox.’”

Natalie motioned for the two of them to sit on a nearby bench.

Cassandra obliged and sat as close to her as possible without it seeming obvious.

A sad smile crossed Nox’s face and she looked away for a moment. “My little sister called me that. When we were growing up, she had a hard time pronouncing some letters. My father likes to call me, ‘Nat,’ so ‘Nat’ turned into ‘Not’ and then ‘Not’ turned into ‘Nox.’” Nox’s attention shifted back to Cassandra. She looked even more handsome than she had a moment before.

“How many siblings do you have?”

“Two. My sister Angeline and my brother Marsten.”

“Does it offend you if I call you, ‘Natalie?’”

Nox smiled and shook her head. “No. You can call me whatever you like...but, I will point out that ‘Nox’ is easier to shout across the battlefield. Are there any names I shouldn’t call you?”

“Call me ‘Cassie,’ ‘Sandra,’ or ‘Sandy’ and I will throw something heavy at you. Seeker Cassandra or Cassandra is fine. I have heard you call me ‘Cass’ in the field. That one is acceptable...” Cassandra paused and felt her cheeks redden, “...but you are the only person who has made that name tolerable.”

Nox’s face contorted and Cassandra detected a blush upon Nox’s freckled cheeks. “Okay,” she said quietly.

Cassandra allowed Nox to hold her gaze. Time seemed to slow and the Chantry faded into a dull nothing as if the two of them had slipped into the Fade. Except it wasn’t. It was a world where only the two of them existed. There was no war, no Inquisition, no obligation. Cassandra felt stripped of all her armor and letting it go felt freeing, she felt alive.

Reaching out along the bench, Cassandra found Natalie’s hand and felt her fingers close around hers. Solid, reassuring. As if this Templar could walk out that door and shield her from the horrors just with her body, and that smile.

Suddenly aware that she was holding onto her breath, Cassandra let out a slow exhale and turned her eyes to Natalie’s lips, partly open like an invitation. No one was here in this world, just she and Nat--

\- - - - - -

“You told me you first kissed her in Ladfen!” Leliana exclaimed.

Cassandra let out a long puff of air and sipped the remnants of her now cold drink. “I did. But I wanted to before then, and not when I was in the process of rescuing you.” She flashed an irritated look at Leliana, which earned her a smirk.

“So what really happened?”

“I was reminded of where I was and who she was. Regardless of that Natalie’s relationship with Andraste, the Chantry is no place for something so...tawdry. So, I returned to my room to read.”

At that Leliana burst into peals of laughter.

“What’s so funny?” Cassandra asked flatly and wrinkled her nose.

Leliana continued laughing. "If you tell me it was Swords & Shields..."

The ugly truth of Leliana's words caused Cassandra to clamp down on a retort. “You can stop whenever you like. I am not a child. I do know what other people do in the Chantry, but I will not use my place of worship to get close to someone who isn’t the Maker.”

Leliana caught her breath and looked at her through eyes reddened from tears. “Cassandra, the Maker is everywhere,” she joked and fanned her hands out cryptically. “He’s seen you with her now.”

Cassandra scowled. “Yes, but I’m sure he appreciates at least one of us keeping the Chantry sacred.” Cassandra paused. "We were out some weeks later and Vivienne began talking to me and she said something like, 'that what makes you different can be a burden or a source of strength, which is up to you.' It struck me how true those words were, and now that I think about it, I wonder whether she was saying it on purpose. You know how she is. We only have one life to live, Leliana, and I can either choose to live it or throw it away on other people. When I thought of it that way...that last part felt like dying to me."

Leliana turned serious. “I've told you before how obvious it was to the rest of us. What I didn't tell you is how much we wanted it. We saw how much you adored each other.'"

"I do adore her," Cassandra admitted. "And...as much I enjoy fighting with her, I look forward to the day when we can do something more with our time together, away from the battlefield."

Leliana smiled. "And that is something I've hoped to hear you say. I’m glad to see you happy, Cassandra, and I’m glad that it’s her.”

Cassandra smiled warmly. “As am I.”


End file.
